My survivor story belongs to my wife Mary Watts. In 2000 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. In November of that year Mary had a partial mastectomy and over 20 lymph nodes were removed under her right arm. She then went through intense chemo, I've never seen someone so violently sick. Then her hair started to fall out. That was the hardest part. Hair was getting every where so I got my clippers and gave her a buzz cut like mine. When she looked into the mirror she wept. While we were holding each other crying the first unwritten cancer law in our house was written. No one cries alone. Following the chemo Mary then had to endure radiation; once a day, five days a week for six weeks. Mary’s hair started to grow back after that and it came back curly. She loved her new curly hair and I called her my “little house frau with a fro”. Another unwritten cancer law for our house came to be. Laugh often, even if we are laughing at ourselves. Subsequent scans did not show any cancer.
Through out it all if you asked Mary how she was doing she would tell you “I’m ok”. She may have spent the night in the bathroom getting sick but afterwards when asked she would reply “I’m ok”. She may have surgery and lying there with tubes and such hanging out of her body and she’s still “ok“.
In 2008 we moved to Springfield, Missouri from central Illinois. The move saved her life as the doctors in Illinois totally missed her cancer coming back. The doctors in Springfield are the best. Her breast cancer came back in her bones, primarily her lower spine, hip and skull. Every phone call from the doctor was worse and worse. Since 2008 Mary has had the maximum radiation treatment for her spine. Mary also has had radiation treatment for the tumors on her skull and hip. In 2008 she rolled over in bed and her right collar bone broke because the tumor on it had weakened it so much. So more radiation for that too. Weeks in a brace became months and after a year without the collar bone healing Mary said enough. She took the brace off and doesn’t wear it anymore even though the bone has not healed. Again in 2008 the cancer spread to her liver and left lung. In one two week time period the doctors removed two liters of fluid from around her lung. Because of the new tumors Mary has been on chemo since September of 2008, to this day and into the foreseeable future. Mary now takes chemo once every three weeks; a different chemo once every four weeks; and chemo pills seven days on and seven days off. She never complains. She has a lot of pain (besides me) but she never complains. The tumors are kept stable by the chemo, meaning neither growing nor shrinking.
During the last couple of years my faith and perseverance has been tested. But throughout it all Mary has remained stalwart. The x-rays of Mary’s spine show a couple of vertebra fading away from the cancer but all I’ll hear from her is an “Oh my back” once in a while. That’s it, no more complaining. I’ll get her up from bed and it will be “Oh my back”. Between the cancer in her back and the side effects of the chemo Mary can’t walk far so we just put her in a wheel chair and away we go. I finely get to push her around and she finely get to tell me where to go. I cannot tell you the strength I draw from her as she grows weaker in body but not in spirit.
If she can endure the pain and weakness with a smile, I can do no less. We are Mike and Mary the “m&m’s”.
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