The Sight

Almost 50 years ago when I was just a wee lad. O, about 4th grade or so. As I was walking home from school I heard someone shout "hey kid". When I turned around he threw something into my face. To this day I think what he had in his hand looked like a cigarette packet. What ever it was it caused my world to go black. It was gritty and stung my eyes and I had to keep them shut or the pain was too bad. Some one got me back to school and a teacher took me home. Mom got me to the doctor right away and he cleaned out my eyes. Boy was the doctor mad that someone would do this to anyone. He said it smelled like Cinnamon. The next day my eyes started to clear up and my sight returned with no ill effects. The whole episode made me think on being blind. I use to blindfold myself as a kid (whenever mom and dad were gone) and walk around the house. I think that's why I liked the comic book Daredevil so much. So I had an idea to write a story about an investigator who goes blind but his other senses kick in to the extent it borders on super powers. The story that follows is what came out. It's not what I started to write but my muse had other ideas. Perhaps it's my way of dealing with future grief. I can't read it. I can't write anymore of it. The tears won't let me.

THE SIGHT
Click clack, click clack. Click clack, click clack. The sound of the commuter train keeps cadence as it speeds along. Ed sat there at the window seat hearing the sound through the fog of his mind. The doctor’s visit did not go well. His cloudy vision was getting worse. But he already knew that. “Nothing more we can do, I’m sorry Ed” Sorry; sorry didn’t seam to help much at this time. What to do, what to do. I’m going blind, thought Ed, no help for me. “Sorry” The train continued, click, clack. Ed just sat there, head bowed, eyes half closed. “What to do” playing over and over in his mind while the storm continued to build. The others in the train compartment sat around him unaware of his pain, not feeling the white hot anger rise. His face grew warmer, his pulse quickened. His temples throbbed, his breathing grew shallower. I must regain control thought Ed and he forced his breathing to return to normal. Breathing in slowly through his nose, hold the breath for an eight count, breath out slowly through the mouth until all breath is gone. Over and over Ed breathed. Thinking only of the breath…..
The trip ended without Ed even knowing it. He suddenly realized the train had stopped and people were getting off when a fellow passenger bumped into his seat. Rising out of his stupor Ed disembarked, finding his way by memory as much as sight. He couldn’t see more than six feet away. The familiar sidewalk passed under his feet as he headed back to their apartment. Johnson’s fancy garbage cans. The Bates mailbox. Two dozen more paces and there he was. Ed put his hand on the rail and looked up the steps. They ended in a fog, the front door was too far away. He placed his foot on the step. Each step he took brought him closer to Jane. How can he tell her what the doctor said? The door came into focus through the fog. His hand is on the door knob. Inside Ed hangs his hat up and turns into the living room.
“Hi dad” came the familiar greeting.
“Hi Lucy, where’s your mother?”
Lucy came into view and hugged her father. “She’s in bed dad, she’s not doing very well”.
“Is she in pain?”
“Yes”
Ed entered the bedroom and approached the bed. When she came into view Ed knew it was bad this time. Jane lay there propped up with her pillows, her face flush. A gleaming of sweat on her brow.
“How are you doing, hon?” asked Ed.
“I’m ok” came the whispered reply. Always “ok” thought Ed. Just like her to not complain. Half the world is complaining about the littlest thing and there Jane is, laying in bed, can’t hardly move. Can’t breathe and in pain and she’s “ok”. Now Ed’s eyes are getting foggier than usual but it’s not his eye sight. Fighting back tears he hugs his wife and buries his face in her shoulder. Breathing in he takes in her fragrance thinking only of the moment.

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Ed sits in the church listening to the sounds of the people coming in. These last three months have been a lifetime. Through it all Jane had always been “ok”. Through it all Jane faded from his sight. And now she’s gone. Moving his hand, Ed touches his daughter’s knee. “Take me to her one last time” he whispers. Taking her hand they get up and move to where Jane is laying. Reaching out his hand as if he could see Ed touches the face he will never see again. Tears are in the eyes of everyone there as the church goes quiet and watches a love that even death can not separate.
Through out the service Ed hears words of comfort from the Pastor. He hears the words of the hymns. Then he is on Lucy’s arm leaving the church. The ride to the cemetery is but a blur in his mind. The concentration to walk on the uneven ground snaps’ Ed back to the present. Then the final words. The tears and sympathy flow. The ride back to the church is quiet. Lucy hugs her father’s arm and fights her tears. Ed pats her hand. “It’s over Lucy, her pain is gone.”
“I know dad, but what about you?”
“I’m ok”

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The long day is over and Ed heads to bed. On Jane’s side of the bed he lifts the pillow and takes out her nightgown and lays it where she would lay. Ed bends over and breaths in her fragrance. “Good night love” Ed goes to his side and lays down. He doesn’t turn off the light. There is no more light for Ed.